It starts with this girl Ali. Might I say I thought she was awesome at first, she was quite attractive, and she had spunk. I always loved a little spunk. Just made me a lot happier. Met her at this party, we played beer pong together, and had a great time. Ended up not getting her number and stealing it from a friend. I text her and we begin to hang out a lot more often. Mostly partying.... Nothing too intense. She was very touchy, she would snuggle on me, cuddle with me, really let me know that she wanted me there the whole time. Holding my hand... just the best. I was really falling for this girl, so I asked her on a date. We go out and the date ended in shambles with her feeling sick and going home. I ask her out again, we have a blast, and end up having our first kiss. It was wonderful I wrote her a poem. Here let me share it:
This
As I sit here
With my mind clear
I stare into the concrete
Remembering you beneath my sheets
A memory I hold to be
A memory that I know defines me
A memory which makes me think
About feelings on the brink
Of letting go
Unable to say no
Only here to support thee
To see your face light up with glee
Your happiness is my happiness
As your sadness is my sadness
Knowing that nonetheless
I will have to confess
And so I write this poem for just that reason
My mind convicted of its thoughtful treason
As of now I cannot envision me leaving
Always pushing, always heaving
That lovely emotion
That gives my body motion
Because with every notion
I see what is in store
Within the girl I adore
And so I find myself liking you more
Oh but what can I say
When I feel this way
Getting by everyday
Hoping these thoughts of you will stay
So let me take off this mask
And formally ask
For a kiss
Filled with bliss
So that I may not miss
This...
And thats pretty much it. We kissed and it was great. We had such a great time. I just wonder why this always happens to me. I have a great time for like a good 10 days with the girl and suddenly they go all crazy and end up not liking me. I dont get it, why the fuck would they do that. They rip me to pieces every time until Im nothing but a dwarfed nuisance in their life... Its a depressing thought, and it is the truth. But I've been changing, college has really changed me in a lot of ways. I've become a different man, and I feel as if this is not the truth anymore. That I am in complete control of my life.
This has really changed drastically. I've known this girl Amanda for awhile. I met her through my first girlfriend here, Savannah. She had lost her cellphone in the parking lot and Amanda found it. I was supposed to hang out with Savannah that night. So I was texting Amanda thinking it was Savannah haha. Good times. Really had no idea who I was about to meet. So anyways meet this girl named Amanda, shes pretty attractive. We blaze, and she freaks out. Soon she's coming by the dorms all the time hanging out with us more and more. Its really great having her around. So I decided to really take the time to get to know her on getting back from LA. She drove me back to the dorms, and we hung out for awhile. Then we hung out the next day, and she told me all these stories about her life, the shit that shes been through. She is the most interesting girl I know. Its kinda scary sometimes cause Im beginning to take this interest to a whole new level that Im not sure Im even ready for. Shes just so compelling, her character, her personality, I cant explain it. Shes just fun to be around. I open up. I asked her out to lunch today, she payed for me... But it was cool, we really got to sit down and talk, get to know each other better. And once again she didnt fail to impress me with her stories. It all just comes together and makes sense a lot of the time. Shes one of the most mature girls Ive ever met. And I think I like her. Im taking her out to dinner Friday. Im not going to jump to any conclusions, but Im gonna let her know that I like her. The person that she is. Maybe thatll get things started between us, which I hope happens.
Anyways, Ethen just left the room and here I am alone listening to Tiesto. Not much else to really say, I think Ive been a bit depressed lately and Im not sure why. Its been like this ever since Ive been back from LA. Its not right, I felt so alive the first semester and now, now, Im just my old self again... Aight, well I guess I'll just have to make do. Mind over matter right? Might as well. Ok well Im off. Excited to see Amanda again tonight.
Have a Good One.
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