Love Through the Clearing

Hair that flows like the ocean

Every intention to flow with the notion of your motions

The commotion quickening my locomotion

I feel drunk of your potion

A concoction of your adoption

Adopting meanings and understandings

From a girl who is not demanding

Love is not commanding, and requires no mandate

You're beautiful, compatible, a candidate

And I would like to state

That you have this power to create

Don't wait, bring life to that which is innate

Give it meanings to anyone who chooses to relate

Having eyes that don't deny

That you have tried many times

To answer and question all your whys

I am here for you and wont speak a lie

I am not afraid to die

Your breath and essence fill my being

As you take away my confidence I am finally seeing

Love through the clearing

Its hard to focus in my English class, all I can think about is every word I want to use for expression. I'm always rhyming words with emotions and understandings I feel no one understands, but I put them in my poetry for people to understand. I dont want to be cliche and say that I allow for my readers to interpret. I try to give them the blatant truth through words that can only be comprehended by ones who understand experience.

My whole intention behind this poem was to show feelings I have for this new girl who I have taken interest in. No need for names yet, and I'd like to keep it that way for now.

Have a Good One.

Live Hard

So here I am, sitting in my chair, feeling like a different man than I was before. When first got here, all I could think about was the experiences I would have in college. I was so ambitious, so ready for anything. I wanted it all, and I thought I could have it all. Now I feel like I cant even comprehend who I was before, I have so many emotions and feelings mixed up that I almost dont know what to do with myself anymore.

Trying to get over Lisa is one thing.. She broke up with me, and its no biggie.. It sucks, and I didn't like that it happened so soon, I knew we could work stuff out, I really did. I'm not going to point any fingers and put blame on anyone else but myself. I'm not saying that I'm always at fault, but obviously a characteristic of mine didn't mesh with hers. I understand that, its all about compatibility.

I'm trying to keep my cool now, so far so good. I've already met another girl, her name is Becca, and she's really cool. She got pretty trashed tonight, but its all good, I thought she was brave and managed herself. She listens to me, and I kinda like her. I wonder where things will go in the future, but I'm not pushing anything.

Other than that, my classwork is piling up, I have a job that requires a lot of hours, and I have almost no free time. It sucks cause I thought I was going to have a Fall Break, where I was gonna take Lisa to LA, but she ended up not wanting to go, so I took Jazz. As soon as I got there, my mom called me and told me my grandma died. I loved my grandma.. She was a wonderful influence in my life, and I almost feel like I've been letting her down.

I'm spiraling out of control, things have really taken a turn for the worst. I really didn't mean for this to happen, its just so hard to keep everything under control and keep your cool at the same time. What I'm trying to say is.. Its really hard not to lose your cool in this kind of world.. Shit happens all the time, and accepting that concept requires one to be cool.. I just hate it when shit doesn't work out in the end, because I really try hard to get where I'm at and then, I fall behind.. I need someone to keep me going, and keep me on top of my shit. Lisa helped me with that, and now she's made it a little bit worst.

I've decided to live on, life has its ups and downs, and I can get through anything. I just have to have a strong heart and a smart mind. I miss Lisa.

Have a Good One

The Dynamics

So Im just learning the dynamics of a relationship, one must never be around their girl all the time.. I've been learning this the hard way. Its hard for me to stop thinking about her, I can, and when I do I do, its just I dont really like too. I feel this disconnect, and so I figured out that I'm very clingy...

This isn't a good thing, its not good for me to be there all the time, but isn't it? I mean maybe I'm just a different asset in their lives. They don't always need me to have a good time, but rather they do need you when their purse gets stolen. Its a ridiculous cycle, you'd think a girlfriend could be a lover and a friend..

Maybe its just me, maybe its just the situation I'm in. I want to be around her because I like to be, but at the same time, I feel like I shouldn't. I feel so conflicted, my head is spinning in circles once again. I can't even think for the slightest moment, its almost like I dont know what I want anymore.

I'm just gonna look on the brighter side, and see this as a time for me to really turn around, to really improve myself. Shes already helped so much with that, but its not just my own improvement, I need to make sure I dont change the being that is Phil. I can be more organized and still be myself instead of stressed out, I can be doin' my homework and still be myself. Lisa and I, I know we have something between us, we do, we just haven't really taken the time to stop and think about what we have.

Have a Good One