My Love Life is...

This post is for my Creative Writing class, its really intriguing that my teacher asked me to write about my love life in a blog post. Its what I've been doing the whole time I've kept this blog and it has always served in a manner that helps me logically think out any romantic situation I'm currently in. Right now I'm at my best friend Alan's house thinking, where and when did my life of romance begin. Alan has always influenced my life in a positive manner, he was always telling me how I could better for myself and improve my current circumstance by merely believing in myself. When, he and I had turned 16 he decided that it was time to open up to the sexual world and lose his virginity. I remember hanging out at his friends apartment and we were all talking about the last time we had sex. I kept my mouth shut because I hadn't done anything with a woman yet. All his friends had these amazing stories and I couldn't help but feel envious every time another story was told. At the end of that night they all asked me how far I had gone with a girl, and with no shame I told them all I hadn't even kissed a girl. Then they proceeded to tell me about this book named, "The Game." Alan would always reference it when we talked about picking up women. This book was full of pick up lines, strategic ways one could approach a woman in any environment, and ultimately an array of manners of how to get with that girl. Anyways, he lost his virginity before me and from then on out he became my sensei for romance. He would tell me how I should dress when meeting women, and he would tell me how I should present myself in a confident manner. What girl doesn't dig on a confident well-dressed man? We would get into more details about what one can do to turn the tide in a conversation so that the man is more dominating and desirable. Then that would shift into mutual comfort which quickly turned into intimacy in the lightest degree, and once you've found that intimacy the next couple of steps of getting that girl into your bed was pretty simple. It was the game, and it isn't hard to play. I find myself playing all the time, but the more you play, the more prone to injury you are. Love hurts.

My story starts in Middle School, I was bullied and no one liked me. I was the smallest in the grade which made it easier for people to pick on me and not to mention I was so friendly that people could easily take advantage of my trust, which many people did. I was abused physically and verbally throughout 7th grade, the bully who would pick on me the most was named Leonard, and now we are the closest friends ever. He used to give me atomic wedgies everyday, throw me against lockers, and one memory in particular always stands out. Once at soccer practice he picked me up above his head and carried me to the end of the field where the rest of the team was, he threw me on the ground and stepped on me with his cleats. The entire team joined in and to top it all off he took an orange traffic cone and started to beat me with it. It was fucked up, I know, but from hate comes love, and from love comes hate. Its the balance of the world, any loving emotion can usually trigger the opposite feeling through care, mistrust, or even, love, and vice versa. The bullying made me into the lover I am today. I don't hold back from love, and I've always viewed myself as a martyr for love so why not keep pushing myself to join the fray that could get me hurt? Love is that fray, and I've felt what it means to be rejected on a whole other level. Any personal rejection that comes my way, or any rejection from myself towards others is usually meaningless because I cannot deny this reality, I have no right to say what is just and what isn't. Everyone is an individual with their own agenda's, and I cannot be the one to create obstacles in their personal journey towards success. I am merely an asset, and I accept this, in fact, I've always believed that it has made me the bigger man. I am not afraid to be pushed around for love. I will always show compassion to others no matter how much they hate me. This is how you conquer love, this is how you overcome the pain, but this isn't how you play the game. Love heals.

There's one thing about love that has always kept me going, and that is, the ability to love anything and anyone. It gave me the opportunity to have so many wonderful girlfriends, it gives me the strength I need to support my family, and it allows me to love my neighbour unconditionally. To me, the essence of love is people. The fact of the matter is, being alone sucks and sometimes its better to be with someone than without. Loneliness stems from love and the only way one understands love is to understand the loneliness that can come from it. My love life is people. I love people. I love being able to share this planet with you all. Love is mutual.

Have a Good One