3 M's

The three M's stand for, Most Memorable Moment, and I had one last night. Lets just get right to the point here, and say that we had our first kiss. Our First Fucking Kiss. I'm like beyond happy, I'm so happy, that when I go out today, my whole world had just flipped upside down, and everything seemed so bright and enjoyable. I mean, I've always seen that world, through unloved eyes, but today, today, it was different. It was like taking off your sunglasses for the first time, and seeing the world without any kind of lens.

The kiss was fantastic, it was just as I had dreamed it would be like. Parked on top of a hill, looking over the city, taking in all its wonders, and how beautiful it looks at night. I had promised her she could read my journal. So she did, she read all about how I feel about her. Then she read, a PS I added at the end of my last journal entry about her it read "P.S. - If you still haven't said anything Cleo I suggest saying it now, or at least giving me a kiss =)." The song I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab for Cutie, was playing. She put the book up to her face, as she looked at me with her eyes squinting, trying to break free from herself, at least from what I could tell. Then we got into a conversation, if itd be alright if I did it. And then she did it. She kissed me. I can't even explain how happy I was. It was like....my life was complete. Not only did I feel so happy, but I felt confident. Like the whole world couldn't even stop me. I was ontop of the world, and nothing could bring me down. Even my car not starting afterwards didn't ruin the feeling I had. Louis came and we jump started it. It was pretty funny, and fun at the same time. 

I know I sound ridiculous saying this, but it was the most amazing experience of my entire life. I wish I could live it over and over again, I wish I had Cleo....with me now. But we can't always have what we want. So, I'll let her do what she wants, I am here for her, and she knows that I am here. I promised I wouldn't change, but how the fuck am I supposed to do that. I was touched, my heart rippled after that experience, I'm feeling feelings I've never felt before. God damm, I couldn't keep a promise like that. I love her so much. So much, that I would do anything for her. Shes all thats been on my mind all day, I'm not sure what to do anymore. I want to see her again so badly, but I know the situation shes in. I dont want her to be pressured, I dont want her to feel as if I'm the one she has to love. The one she has to see endlessly. I have to come to terms with that. As much as I love her, I wont make her feel weird about anything. I hope I can do this, please wish me luck..... Im going to need it.

Have A Good One.