Forrest Gump

I'm really not sure why I named this new blog Forrest Gump, but that really is the least of my problems. Well, I am listening to music from the movie, so that would explain it, but otherwise, I had no other reason to name it that.

I was reading Alans blog, I really miss the guy, we actually get along so well, no matter where we turn in life. No matter what choices are made down the road, or where we turn, we always end up back together. We really are best buddies, forever. People always exxagerate that term, saying, "Oh, don't worry, we'll be best friends forever." But man, I hope youre reading this now, cause you and I, we share something that others don't. We have always been the greatest friends, and still different schools, even different states, nothing has changed what we are....the greatest friends ever. I will never forget you, throughout my entire life, I will die with the thought of you in my mind. You will live on forever, through my memories. I love you man, and theres no real easy way of saying that.

That felt great! I feel like a new man already! Perhaps its the music, as well as getting all that out of me, but I feel like a human setting forth onto new grounds prepared to take on life for what it is and what its worth, that neither materialism, nor people could possibly change my look or feel on life right now!

I've been talking to friends lately, about Reva. I have yet to mention Reva in here at all, but I feel as if nows a good time. If you want me to be completely honest, to cut the bullshit and the cockiness that usually ends up coming out anyway when you pour your heart out onto the keyboard, then I'll just be straight up and honest. Cause thats what I am, a straight up, honest and simple man. I love Reva...how else am I supposed to say this? Perhaps people thing I'm too young to feel it, personally, I dont think that at all. Thats the thought that held me back from actually feeling what it really was and is to feel the love for someone else. But I know I love her, cause I care. I care about her, her feelings, her emotions, her pain. All of it. I think about it, I just want her to feel comfortable. If shes not happy, I'm not happy, if shes happy, then I'm happy. I can't explain it very well...cause its just so indescribable. I wish I could just implant my feelings within her, show her how I really feel, but obviously I can't. And saying it doesn't help, cause all it sounds like to others is bullshit, and just an excuse to get into someones pants. When will anyone ever understand that I don't care about getting into her pants, I dont care if I never kiss her, I just want to be with her, I want her by my side, I want to live the bad times, the good times with her. I want her to know that I'm here for her, always and forever, even if she doesnt feel the same way back. Fuckles. That took a lot of energy. So, ya nothing really else I can say. So, I'm just gonna stop here, stop my expectations, feel my feelings, and live on.

As I usually do in life now, just live on and live forth. Life can throw at you whatever it wishes, I read the book The Stranger by Albert Camus, I recommend it to EVERYONE! Its fantastic, I'll never look at life the same way again. From now on, I never expect anything, from life. I go with it, as if I were life itself. Which I am. My best example is, your a car, moving at your own pace, through a foggy road, and the only thing you can see is whats behind you, and whats to your sides, never whats in front of you. You can't anticipate the streetlight ahead. For all you know it could be a red light, and your life ends right there, as you get into one of the most horrific accidents ever, or perhaps, its a green light, and you move past the obstacle as if it were nothing, or maybe you had to make a turn at the light, and you missed it. Making wrong turns in life happens all the time because you can't expect whats set before you. Sometimes youll come upon some debris set before you in the middle of the road, and its either you abruptly move out of the way taking a risk in life, or you run it over, and see what happens. The risks and the consequences, all unknown, all unforgiving. Just as life is supposed to be.

Ok, I've gotta put my parrots to bed. I'll write again sometime in the future.

Have a Good One.