Passion

I can't believe I'm up at this time. I have thoughts ambushing me left and right. I feel trapped, confused, with priorities and responsibilities. I've been really trying to get my life on track. I've been getting straight A's in college, and am currently getting my lifeguard license. I'm really looking to move out and get my own place. Life has been... Life. Its weird how the future just pushes on, pushes its way into your life. Its like you can never get a chance to really appreciate a moment for what it is. Life just moves too fast.

I'm full of passion. Passion I can't express. I know I miss her. I miss her more than a man would miss the daylight en-prisoned for life in a dark room lonely room. I loved her. And I still do. I know I do. I told her it would never leave me. I've definitely broken free from what was, an interesting state of affairs. But that passion, I yearn for it, I awake everyday and taste the sweet sensation of what I could make of it once again, what I could rekindle, but I don't do it.

I think about her everyday. Who the fuck am I kidding... And now she's talking about kissing other boys? I can't handle it... For almost a year now, I've been wanting nothing more than to kiss her. I mean, fuck, I'm not going to be that hurt by it. I'm not a little kid. I'm a man. I'm just upset... Perhaps jealous... I'm going crazy again, every time I think about her, I go crazy.

One things for sure though. I definitely know what's causing this. Its my passion. My love. My emotion. Its what's real. I know that too. The question is, is it what I want as a reality? So many questions, such little time.

Have a Good One