The Sickening

Honest to goodness people need to learn to start thinking on a more trancsendental perspective. I mean it helps me understand moral situations and get through rough times. I'm not saying give yourself to faith and all that irrational bull crap. I'm just saying understand that you arent the "main scheme" of things. I mean sure this argument can be coutnered by obviously pointing out that we have free will, and are the "main schemes" that make our lives what they are, but on a wider view of things. Contraversies, debates, rationality, arguments, we are faced with all these things on a daily basis, from a personal perspective and from an international, even universal perspective. And I'm done with people always being unreasonable and idiotic when it comes to creating a solution to a problem. The solution is always based around our own stubborness and greed to have what we want, when we just can't seem to understand the other persons point of view, the other persons opinions, the other persons wants or needs, and I'm sorry but there is nothing to counter-act this argument I'm setting forth right here and now. We all know its a problem, and we all know how to solve it. I'm just waiting for people to heed the call of deevolution, and finally come to their senses that we are destroying ourselves from the inside out. Heres a way to look at it:

We are consuming ourselves from the inside out. Literally, from within our current species we are destroying ourselves. We are quite defensive to our outside, the things that we perceive the things that we feel from a literal outside view of our surroundings, but its time to look inside ourselves and find that we are more than what we think we are. That we have these emotions, these powers to effect directly or indirectly everything being hidden behind a illusion that society clouds us with. We can change it. Its just. No one chooses to see it. Mostly because we either done have the time nor the energy to open ourselves up and emerse ourselves into a world...no wait...a UNIVERSE, full of love and understanding.

I bet we're all wondering, why is he even saying this what sparked the motivation to write all this crap. Well I'll tell you. No one except Russell knows what I'm fucking talking about. Well, its those irrational, stupid, closed minded fools that we call 'nationalists' Enough with the fucking "Oh I have to protect my borders from incoming invaders.." What invaders?? Oh you mean US?! HUMANS?! WE'RE ATTACKING ONE ANOTHER?! Seems kind of upsetting right? I mean lets look at it from a different persepctive shall we? Lets say, some aliens come from some galaxy far far away, and they say "Lets capture the Earth." The another alien says to the alien calling for the invasion, "But why Captain." Then the alien in command gives the questioning alien a look of stupidity and says, "Look at their instability, they fail to unite under one roof, they can't quite understand that they are all of the same biological genetic mapping, and so they attack each other. Why not attack Earth? Its like the triceratops falling behing in its pack because its insides are fighting each other. This is when the predators attack, so lets do it before Earth is no more." 

The Earth is the animal, the living creature that keeps us 'the cells' functioning and living within this creature. If we keep fighting each other, either the earth will die on its own due to its own "infectious" disease known as humans. Or this so called "disease" will adapt and evolve to become the organisms we were meant to be. Keepers and protectors of the planet Earth. The one living creature that we all depend on for resources, and life.

So people, next time you feel yourself wanting to side with a radical opinion. Just say no. Now I'm not saying ignore it completely, acknowledge its existence, gain some knowledge from it whether showing you an opposite point of view or a similar one to your own. Then move on. Dont become close minded due to one belief. Just move the fuck on, and be that open minded individual that understands opinions, beliefs, and perspectives, without giving into any of them, but your own.

Phew, what a fucking buttload of words. I feel a little bit better. I hope we can fix this world before 2012, or the end maybe catastrophic. Anyways, I'm done writing. I kind of want to write more, but I dont know what else to write. My view on life is changing once more. Since I dont really have anyone of the opposite sex that I'm attracted too at the moment, but once I do. I'll have less to say about this depressing, "coming to an end" stuff, and more of that "lets understand emotion" junk. Ok, I'm outta here. See you guys later.

Have A Good One.

Pass

I totally owned my motorcycle class, and had so much fun riding one. I passed the motorcycle class, and found a love in life that I'll live with forever. 

I really want to go to Universal Studios right now. I'm watching the Oscars and I have the BIGGEST urge in the world to go on that Studio Tour. Haha. Aight I better get back to watching.

Have A Good One.

The Dark

I forgot to post my poem in my latest blog. So I'll just post it here:

Title​:​ The Dark

From dawn to dark

To every​ last bark

We both lie still​

After​ an eveni​ngs fill

Thoug​hts of you

Sound​ the very last queue​

My body slowl​y closi​ng

My dream​s rapid​ly hosin​g

The fire that burns​ for you

Like the anima​ls escap​e from a zoo

I stamp​ede those​ thoug​hts to crush​

Every​ meani​ng that broug​ht life lush

But why must I wait?​

For your soul to emula​te

Feeli​ngs deep down insid​e

Knowi​ng we both have tried​

To let loose​ those​ emoti​ons old

Begin​ning to feel the cold

Flow throu​gh my body like the mass flood​

From withi​n the heart​ that we gain the blood​

Incre​asing​ the confi​dence​,​ the coura​ge,​ the embra​cemen​t

Of a Wedne​sday eveni​ngs encas​ement​

In the dark that brigh​tens that night​s sky

Hopin​g once more that we can try

To see each other​ soon

Only for but one after​noon

I wait once more for that secon​d bark

To spend​ night​s anew,​ withi​n the dark

-End

I wrote this poem as I was taking a walk within my neighbourhood. The night sky was so compelling that I got lost in its never ending darkness, Lauren then crossed my mind for a little awhile, but then I was soon broken from this trance by several dogs barking at me, which at that point I ran home and wrote this poem. For anyone thats reading it. I'd like you to tell me what you think. Just an FYI (For your information) Mr. Savage (my current English teacher that attended Oxford in the UK) claimed it was a fantastic poem, and that I have some sort of "gift?" Haha. I love Mr. Savage. But anways, tell me what you think. I'd like more than just his opinion on this.

Have A Good One.

Tropicana

I love that word, Tropicana. I'm looking at this bottle of Tropicana Fruit Punch and the word just totally caught my attention. Now thats what I call a hooker....not the sexual kind...but the advertis- oh you all get what I'm saying. So anyways boy oh boy do I have a lot to talk about.

First off I'd like to acknowledge Russell. Since I was pretty pleased to hear that he reads my blog. Thanks Russell. :)

Secondly, I'm taking motorcycle classes tomorrow. It's going to be awesome. I mean people are coming from all sides on my decision to get my motorcycle license, and all I have to say is cmon, live a little you know? Everyones saying safety first. But how can I believe that? If I lived my life by the rule of 'Safety First' where would that get me in life? It'd definitly get me somewhere...But being cooped up in a little ball of safetyness (made that word up) isnt really how I view life. Sure, we only get one life to live, so why not make the best of it.

Ok I'm done with this numbering stuff. Too formal for me. I wasn't feeling the vibe, as I'm really not feeling it right now. I just wanted to post SOMETHING, cause it's definitly been awhile. Man, I really wish I knew what to talk about right now. I honestly dont know what to say. My minds been on this Lauren girl for like ever. Not in any obsessive way, just some stuff thats bothering me. I wont get into too many details about the current sitauation Im in cause Im really not in the mood to type a lot, and yet look at me I'm typing a whole fuckload of shit that probably has no relevance whatsoever to anything that I SHOULD be typing about. But heres what happened:

Pretty much she tells me to talk to her more, text her more, call her more, connect with her more, and all that junk. So of course I do, after our two hour conversation on the phone, which was completely unexpectant since we hadn't talked in two weeks time. Later on I text her, no response, I then call her the next day, no response, text her the next next day, nothing. I'm not one to be suspicious of anything, perhaps her phone was taken away, or maybe she got grounded, I wouldn't know. But anways Cleo offers to text her for me, to see if she responds back. Bam. Cleo gets the response. I think I'm in the clear. I text Lauren. Nothing.

I dont know what to make of this. Maybe shes playing me for all I know. Or maybe shes just not interested. Who knows. I just like to stick by the idea that shes just scared to text back. I know that its a slim chance that thats the reason, but at least it gives me a little comfort. To know that I'm still interested...because to be completely honest. I think I'm losing interest...I dont know if its good or bad. I feel like I'm hanging on to something that should never be, even thought I want it to be. 

Man, I really want to experience having a relationship so badly. Its consuming me. Its making me the opposite of what I need to be in order to get something like this. Perhpas I'm jinxing it by wanting it so much, or maybe I want it so much that I forget what I want, and end up losing what I actually need. Again, I dont know. In fact I never know. The probabilities in life are all weighed out with fate. And I'm not one to control fate or its existence persay. As much as free will has its good portion within fate. I always end up making the decision that puts me farther and farther away from my actual goal. A girlfriend.

Sucks though. I think I focus too much on the 'what I am worth' part, and end up becoming what I am not. Fuck man. Life makes no sense. I'm really starting to believe in this indifferent world where kharma has no place or meaning. Nothing that I want really works out for me, all I gain is experiences that I would never expect but end up loving. Im thinking that I should just stop trying for anything. Maybe thatll give me the chance to experience more, but then where does my motivation and my ambition to live go? Its all sucked down the drain. I dont want to lose that, because thats what gives me my purpose in life. To live life and experience all of its wonders. 

I wish I could go to outerspace man. Become that ever so needed and wanted star child that we all should aspire to be. We should all come to that understanding that we are the infinte due to our conscious minds. That our abilites and our powers exceed our physical world. We are a sentient race in this infinite universe, and we live on a planet full of life. Its just the illusion that society sets before us that doesnt allow us to experience what we really should. The outside. Adapting to society is simple, but we mustn't conform to it, and become it. We should acknowledge its existence, and live our daily lives off of it, but put our minds to the tasks at hand. No more of this mumbo jumbo bullshit we get taught sometimes. Lets open up our minds, our bodies, our souls, our consciousness. Lets understand the world, the galaxies, the stars, the universe. Lets become....the infinite.

Wow, I did have something to talk about. Haha. Alright, now I'm getting sleep, and I have to be up early tomorrow for my lesson. 

Have A Good One.

PS I got a new hat today :D

The Grabber of Interest

Grabbing interest sucks. It's easy to do, but afterwards, once the fire dies down. It sucks. 

Have A Good One.

Sore Bore

I am utterly bored and sore. Just got home from a MAJOR work out, and I'm dying. I can't even feel my arms right now, they're so numb. Anyways, I've got plenty of shit to talk about.

First off, I signed up for motorcycle classes. I'm hoping to get my motorcycle licenses. People keep telling me that they're unsafe, and very dangerious. Of course they are, and I'm really down to get one still. When people tell me this, the best response I can come up with is, "Hey man, I'm only looking to live life a little bit." And if they really piss me off, I say, "Hey man, I'm only looking to live life, maybe you should start living too." But thats not the main point. I'm just super siked/stoked, and when I get it, I know I'm going to have a lot of fun with my license and motorcycle (once I get my hands on one). 

Secondly as for education, I got into several colleges!! I got into UNLV, UCB (University of Colorado, not to be mistaken with UC Berkley), and plenty of the Cal States so far. I'm still waitin on UNM, my main choice. I can't wait to start anew. To finally be on my own, independently. Every teen aspires to that, but I feel as if I just want to get away ya know? Oh, and I also almost got straight A's for once. Except for my fucking Hebrew teacher, who gave me a D... God damn it. Whatever, I'm not one to be obssesive over grades. 

Ah now for the third newest thing going on in my life. I finally met Lauren. Wow. What an amazing time I had with her. I mean I know I've had real good times in my life before. But this was just absolutely unforgettable. Shes great! I really can't wait to see her again. I actually..kind of..miss her in a sense. I mean at times I'll find myself thinking about her. Not constantly, but you know...just at times. Really hoping she can go out Friday, but I probably shouldn't get my hopes up too much. She doesn't seem to siked about it. So, I'll let things come as they go, while I hope.

As for my FOURTH and hopefully not final thing. I have been writing a lot of poetry lately. I really never knew I could write poetry. People have been telling me I write pretty well. So I'll keep it up for self-benefit, and hopefully in my future, it will benefit the people around me as well. I just need to get better at portraying deeper meanings within my writing. Until then I'll just keep on writing. 

Alright, its getting close to Minyan time. So I better head on out. It was nice writing in here again. Its always fun to write about whats been going on, keeping a log on what I'm doing. Knowing the only people that read it are my close friends, but its ok. I'm happy with that. I'll be writing later! 

Have A Good One.